Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)
★★ — Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)
There's a moment about halfway through Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides where I genuinely could not tell you what was happening or why anyone cared. Not in a fun, chaotic, let's-see-where-this-goes way. In a flat, hollow, staring-at-the-screen-waiting-for-something-to-land way. That's the feeling the whole film gives you. Not frustration exactly, more a kind of weary indifference, which is far worse.
The first three Pirates films had their problems, God knows, but they had something alive in them. The original especially had a scrappy, swashbuckling energy that felt genuinely surprising for a theme park adaptation. Even at their most bloated, the sequels had Davy Jones, the kraken, spectacular set pieces with actual stakes baked in. There was a mythology being built, a world worth caring about. On Stranger Tides strips all of that away and offers nothing in return except more of the same, turned down several notches.
Jack Sparrow, once an inspired comic creation, is now just a routine. Depp does the drunken shuffle, fires off the mumbled non-sequiturs, tilts his head at that familiar angle, and it all lands with a thud. It's like watching a tribute act long after the band has left the stage. The unpredictability that made the character work in the first place has calcified into formula. You can see every beat coming before it arrives.
The plot, such as it is, involves the Fountain of Youth, a pair of chalices, mermaids, and Blackbeard. I say "such as it is" because the whole thing is stitched together with zero urgency or coherence. Characters explain things at length and I still couldn't tell you what the actual rules were or why any of it mattered. The mermaids, which should be the film's most interesting addition, feel wasted. They appear, cause a bit of chaos, and then the film moves on. There's no nautical wonder here, no sense of the strange and the mythic that made the Caribbean feel like a place worth exploring.
Penélope Cruz is brought in as Jack's fiery former flame and she does her best, she really does, but the script gives her nowhere to go. Her connection to the story feels forced from the off and her chemistry with Depp never ignites the way the film desperately needs it to. Blackbeard himself, a character with so much potential menace on paper, ends up a surprisingly dull antagonist. The film can't quite decide what kind of threat he is, and by the time it tries to make you care about his fate, you've long since stopped investing.
Rob Marshall directed this, and I'll be honest, it surprised me when I first learned that, given the sheer visual energy he brought to Chicago (2002). That film crackled with invention. This one is flat by comparison, the cinematography muddy and uninspired, the action sequences going on far too long without ever feeling dangerous or inventive. The whole thing has the texture of a product being manufactured to spec rather than a film being made with any real enthusiasm.
What's most damning is that On Stranger Tides doesn't just fail to capture the spirit of the earlier films, it seems almost uninterested in trying. The franchise once felt like a wild ride through a mythic world. Here it feels like a factory running on fumes. The energy is gone, replaced by noise, and noise alone doesn't make for adventure no matter how loud you turn it up.
I've since sat through Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017) and that film has its own considerable problems, but at least it carries a faint pulse. On Stranger Tides doesn't even manage that. It's poorly paced, poorly written, and almost entirely forgettable. The franchise should have dropped anchor long before it reached this particular shore.
Two stars.
Rating: ★★ | Year: 2011 | Watched: 2025-08-05
Where to watch
Watch in the UK
Stream: Disney Plus
Rent: Apple TV Store · Rakuten TV · Amazon Video · Sky Store
Buy: Apple TV Store · Rakuten TV · Amazon Video · Google Play Movies
Physical: Amazon UK · Zavvi
Watch in the US
Stream: Disney Plus
Rent: Amazon Video · Apple TV Store · Google Play Movies · YouTube
Buy: Amazon Video · Apple TV Store · Google Play Movies · YouTube
Physical: Amazon US
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Related on Movies With Macca
More from Rob Marshall: Chicago (2002)
More with Johnny Depp: Corpse Bride (2005) · Black Mass (2015) · Once Upon a Time in Mexico (2003) · Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017)
More from United Kingdom: Lessons of Darkness (1992) · Shinjuku Boys (1995) · The Curse of Frankenstein (1957) · Blue (1993)
More from the 2010s: Wonder (2017) · Beautiful Boy (2018) · The Witch (2015) · What We Do in the Shadows (2014)
More adventure: Alice in Wonderland (1951) · The Eagle (1925) · Louisiana Story (1948) · The General (1926)
More action: A Better Tomorrow (1986) · The General (1926) · Hand of Death (1976) · Daredevil (2003)
