Clue (1985)
★★ — Clue (1985)
Look, I'll be straight with you: I've never really liked the board game. Cluedo just doesn't do it for me. So sitting down to watch a feature-length comedy built entirely around it was probably never going to end well for me, and sure enough, it didn't.
My girlfriend loves Clue, the film included, so this was very much a "her pick" kind of evening. I wanted to enjoy it for her sake. I genuinely did. And I can see, in the abstract, what the film is going for: a farcical, theatrical romp through a murder mystery mansion, with a cast clearly having the time of their lives hamming it up in every room. The energy is there. The willingness is there. It just never clicked for me.
The comedy is the big sticking point. There's a particular style of broad, rapid-fire silliness at play here, the kind where characters react to absurdity with even more absurdity, where the joke is often just how loudly and frantically everyone is running around. I don't doubt there's an audience for that. Plenty of people adore it. But I sat there watching scene after scene waiting to laugh and just... not laughing. A polite smile here and there, maybe, but nothing that actually landed. Comedy is the most subjective thing in the world, and this brand of it simply isn't mine.
I also struggled to stay engaged with the story itself. A murder mystery should have some pull to it, some reason to keep you leaning forward trying to work it out. But the plotting felt less like a puzzle and more like an excuse for the chaos, which would be fine if the chaos was funnier to me. Without that, I found myself watching the clock a bit. There's a novelty to having multiple endings depending on which version you watch, and I can appreciate that as a concept, but novelty alone doesn't make up for an hour and a bit of not being entertained.
I think if you're someone who grew up with the game, who has that affection for the source material baked in before the opening credits roll, this probably works on a level it simply couldn't for me. My girlfriend was grinning throughout. She knew the beats, she loved the characters, and she had a great time. I was the odd one out on the sofa, which is fine. Not every film is for every person, and I'd rather be honest about that than pretend I found something I didn't.
It reminds me a little of how I felt watching The Rocky Horror Picture Show: there's a devoted crowd who absolutely live for this kind of thing, and if you're not already in that crowd, the film doesn't do a huge amount to pull you in. You either get it or you don't, and I didn't.
Two stars. I don't begrudge anyone their love of it. But it's not for me, and pretending otherwise would be doing you a disservice.
Rating: ★★ | Year: 1985 | Watched: 2025-05-17
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