Men in Black: International (2019)
★½ — Men in Black: International (2019)
Nobody asked for this. I want to put that on the record straight away, because Men in Black: International is the kind of film that exists not because anyone had a story to tell, but because a spreadsheet somewhere suggested a franchise could still be milked. And milk it they did, right down to the last watery drop.
The original is one of my favourite blockbusters of the nineties. I've said as much in my review of Men in Black, a film with genuine cool running through every frame of it. Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones had a chemistry that felt completely effortless, all that deadpan contrast and odd-couple friction lighting up every scene. That chemistry wasn't just a bonus. It was the whole thing. Take it away, and you've got a franchise with its spine removed.
Which brings us here. Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson are not the problem, exactly. Hemsworth is doing his "pretty space cowboy" routine, leaning on charm where the script gives him nothing else to lean on. Thompson is sharp and watchable, bringing her usual grounded deadpan to proceedings. But there's no spark between them. None. You sit there waiting for the banter to click, for some moment of genuine wit or friction, and it just never arrives. These are two capable actors stranded in a film that has no idea what to do with them. For comparison, I found Hemsworth genuinely funny and loose in Thor: Ragnarok, where the material actually met him halfway. Here, the material is so thin it practically disappears.
The plot involves a vague cosmic threat, a mole inside MIB, and a series of CGI-heavy chase sequences that look less like action and more like someone left a video game running in the background. The aliens are forgettable to the point where I struggled to recall a single one of them by the time the credits rolled. The jokes land with a soft, embarrassing thud. There's a small creature character that I think is supposed to be comic relief, and every time it appeared I felt a little sadder than before.
What made the original so stylish was a kind of sleek, confident minimalism. The suits, the gadgets, the whole aesthetic had a wit to it. This film tries to recreate that look but strips out everything that gave it meaning. The global locations, London, Morocco, Paris, feel like the production bought a job lot of stock footage and called it world-building. The green screen work in places is genuinely startling, not in a good way.
The real sin isn't the technical sloppiness, though. It's that the film fundamentally misunderstands why anyone loved the franchise in the first place. Men in Black was dry, irreverent, effortlessly cool. This is a corporate training video that's been told to dress up as a summer blockbuster. It hits its marks, ticks its boxes, goes through the motions, and generates absolutely nothing in the way of excitement, laughter or feeling.
I've sat through plenty of unnecessary sequels and reboots. The Fate of the Furious at least knew what it was and committed to the lunacy. This doesn't even have that going for it. It's not knowingly daft or entertainingly messy. It's just hollow. A film produced by committee, approved by committee, and destined to be forgotten by everyone who watched it, probably including the people who made it.
One and a half stars. Should've been left in the neuralyzer vault.
Rating: ★½ | Year: 2019 | Watched: 2025-10-14
Where to watch
Watch in the UK
Stream: Sky Go · Now TV Cinema
Rent: Apple TV Store · Rakuten TV · Amazon Video · Google Play Movies
Buy: Apple TV Store · Rakuten TV · Amazon Video · Google Play Movies
Physical: Amazon UK · Zavvi
Watch in the US
Stream: Starz Apple TV channel · Sony Pictures Core Amazon Channel
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Buy: Amazon Video · Apple TV Store · Google Play Movies · YouTube
Physical: Amazon US
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